Pet Weasel
by NiffStral
Summary: Sakura purchases a pet weasel, and shows it to Team Seven. Poor Sasuke will never be the same...


**Pre-fic author's notes:** I bring to you lovely readers another light, funny one-shot. Well, you may not think it's funny, but that was the intention. This came to me after reading some very funny comics on DeviantArt, and I couldn't help but give into my muse, which apparently enjoys tormenting Sasuke.

**Sasuke:** Stop writing things about me!

**Me: **NEVA! Muahahaha!

...So yeah. This takes place before Sasuke goes and makes a horrible life decision, i.e. Goes to Orochimaru. Sakura doesn't know about Itachi, and Naruto is just very slow. Anyway, enjoy!

**Disclaimer: **If I owned Naruto, Itachi would be in every chapter...And he'd do hilarious things. But I don't, and Kishimoto-san was very wise in not agreeing to sell it to me for a piece of gum. Though I swear he did look tempted...

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All four members of Team Seven stared down at the object in front of them. After a few initial blinks, their expressions all changed.

Kakashi's eye crinkled up a bit, and under his mask you could tell that he was biting his lip to resist bursting out into fits of out of character laughter.

Naruto tilted his head to the side and blinked in confusion again, before squatting down to the object in question's height, going in a frog-like position.

Sasuke's eye twitched rather violently, and he seemed to be frozen.

Sakura smiled brightly, having been the one to have brought the thing in front of them in the first place. Going onto her knees, she patted her open upper legs, and the object scurried up onto her lap. Squealing a little at its cuteness, she stroked the animal's fur. Naruto looked over at the creature on his teammate's lap before smiling one of his token smiles, and looked up to Sakura.

"He's so awesome, Sakura-chan! Can I pet him?" He asked, eying the soft fur. Even though he was a guy, he still could not help but find this animal very cute. Sakura nodded, still smiling.

"But make sure you hold out a hand so he can sniff you first, otherwise he may bite." She reminded him as he extended an arm. Naruto nodded, and held out his hand, palm upwards, for the animal. Cautiously moving his head forwards, the creature took a couple whiffs of the blonde's hand, before rubbing his head against his palm. Smiling toothily, Naruto scratched the animal between it's tiny, round ears, on top of its head.

Looking up at Sakura momentarily, Naruto's eyes widened in pleading. Sakura seemed to understand, and she sighed, but nodded. "But be careful!" She reminded the boy as he took the animal in his arms. It curled its long tail around him, and Naruto laughed a little, before stroking it down the length of its back. He and Sakura stood up.

Kakashi looked over to Sakura. "Um...Sakura, why did you get a weasel, of all things, for a pet? I figured you would want a cat or something, when you told us you were looking."

The previous day, Sakura had announced to the team right after training that she was going to purchase a pet later that day. Sasuke looked as if he could really care less, which he did, and Naruto began listing a huge amount of potential animals that she should get. Kakashi merely said that as long as it didn't get in the way of missions and training, then he had no qualms with the idea. They had all parted shortly afterwards, with Naruto thinking about how cool it would be to have a lion as a pet as he wandered back to his home.

Sakura blushed a little, looking embarrassed. "Well, I was going to get a cat, actually, but then, at the pet store, I saw this little guy! He looked so lonely and sad in his small cage, I couldn't just leave him at that place! They were obviously treating him wrongly. So I bought him. And he's adorable, don't you think so?" She looked at her weasel, who was climbing around Naruto's shoulders at the moment. Naruto nodded, still smiling largely. Kakashi nodded, but his gaze was on Sasuke. Said boy was currently staring wide-eyed at the animal, looking more pale than usual.

Sakura looked at the black haired boy, a curious and concerned expression on her face. "Sasuke-kun, are you alright? You look a little sick." She asked, refraining from checking for a fever. She knew how the boy felt about human contact. Or, rather, contact at all. Sasuke shook his head, and went back into his normal, indifferent pose. However, he seemed to struggle with that, which was quite odd. Shrugging, Sakura went over to Naruto and grabbed her weasel off the boy's shoulders, holding him in her arms securely. Naruto pouted, but didn't fuss.

Shortly after, he brightened up again as something seemed to occur to him. "Hey, what are you going to name him? You don't have a name yet, right? I haven't heard you call him by anything."

Frowning, Sakura looked back to the weasel. She had nearly forgotten to name him! Looking over his long, brown furred body, she shook her head.

"I have no idea. Well, until I can think of a good name, I guess I'll just call him Weasel for the time being." She decided. She and Naruto turned to Sasuke as he made a very unusual noise in the back of his throat, his indifferent posture giving way, as he went pale again. Sakura turned to him.

"Are you sure you're al-"

"I have to go." Sasuke interrupted her, before dashing off towards the direction of his house, using chakra to boost his speed rather than walk like he owned the world, like he usually did. Naruto and Sakura frowned as he disappeared from sight a moment later.

"What's up with him?" Naruto asked, voicing his and Sakura's thoughts. They turned to Kakashi, who was hiding his face in his Icha Icha novel. Although, if you looked closely, you could see he was holding back laughter. Kakashi didn't look at them as he said, "Oh, it's nothing. He'll be fine, don't worry. But I...ah, never mind." He seemed to change his mind about something, before strolling off back into the village, still reading. Naruto and Sakura exchanged looks of utter confusion, before heading their separate ways.

"See you tomorrow, Sakura-chan! And you too, Weasel!" Naruto waved, smiling brightly. Sakura smiled slightly at the loud, hyperactive teen. "Bye!" She replied, before cheerfully jogging to her home, Weasel securely enclosed in her arms.

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A few days later, of which Sakura had brought Weasel (she still hadn't come up with a more suitable name) to their last few training sessions, tying his leash around the trunk of a tree. This day, however, she came empty handed, grumbling to herself with her arms crossed as she joined her teammates on their meeting bridge.

Naruto blinked. "Where's Weasel, Sakura-chan?" He asked, which Sasuke subtly twitched as Naruto said the weasel's temporary name. The other two didn't notice. Sakura frowned, sighing deeply.

"I'm punishing him right now. He did something very bad last night. He's currently locked in my room, and I won't be giving him any sweets for a while." Sakura had let it be well-known to her team that she spoiled the animal rotten, and found great pleasure in doing so. To not, the weasel must have done something really bad.

"What did he do? Poop all over your room?" Naruto guessed, but Sakura shook her head.

"No, worse. While I was out, he sneaked into the woods behind my house and killed an entire family of innocent little rabbits!" She said, looking furious as she told them. Naruto gasped, while Sasuke's eye twitched violently. But Sakura wasn't done yet.

"And also, when I found this massacre, I found one survivor. It was just a little one, too, and he seemed so lost and confused! Weasel must've thought he wasn't good enough to kill, or something. He was rather small, and didn't have much meat on him. But still, that's inexcusable! I took the little rabbit to the vet straight away, and they put him in the pound. Poor little guy..." She said sadly, probably thinking about the little rabbit, all alone in the world. Naruto now seemed to be rethinking his liking for the animal, while Sasuke went very pale, like he had when Sakura first showed them her new pet. This time, Sakura didn't notice it.

All of their musings were interrupted with a 'poof', and Kakashi appearing on the railing of the bridge.

"Yo!" He said, eye curved up in a happy arc, book in hand. He waited for the two cries of "YOU'RE LATE!" from Naruto and Sakura, but didn't hear any. Kakashi sighed; he'd had a pretty good excuse planned this time, too.

"What's wrong?" The jounin asked, before looking around and noting the lack of the fourth recent presence. He turned to Sakura.

"Where's your pet?" He asked her, but it was Naruto who answered. "It's horrible, Kakashi-sensei! Weasel went and killed an entire family of rabbits last night, except for one really little one! He's so cruel!" He said, sounding quite mad at the animal.

Kakashi coughed suddenly, eyes widening a little. Through the indents in his face mask you could see his mouth opening in shock, but it was an open-mouthed smile. He quickly turned his gaze to Sasuke, who caught his sensei's eye, and glared at the man viciously.

"...I have to go," Sasuke muttered, before storming off in fury. Kakashi's visible eye curved up into a happy arc again, before he hopped off the rail and headed towards their usual training grounds. Naruto and Sakura looked confused, but Kakashi shook his head.

"Don't worry about Sasuke, just go practice your taijutsu over there." Kakashi instructed them and leaned against his leaning tree, reading the latest of Jiraiya's infamous novels. Shrugging, the two genin did as their sensei instructed.

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Yet another few days later, Naruto and Sakura had forgiven Weasel once they found out that those rabbits had been destroying Sakura's mother's garden for the past few years, and with the fact that no one could stay made at something that adorable for too long, no matter what they had done. Team Seven had just returned from a rather uneventful C mission, and Sakura was anxious to see her Weasel-kun again, after spending the day apart from the animal, as it would not be very wise to bring a weasel with you on a mission.

Rushing to her house, Sakura was very confused when she couldn't find her pet anywhere in her home. Asking her mother, the woman said she had not seen the animal since Sakura had left for her mission the day before. Sakura then, in her quest to find Weasel, went to Naruto's apartment, to see if the boy had stolen Weasel from her. She wouldn't put it past him to do something like that.

Upon reaching the messy apartment, Naruto shook his head, and looked surprised and a little worried that the mammal was missing. They would have looked more, but a beeping noise coming from inside Naruto's room reminded him and Sakura that they had to meet Kakashi for training.

When the two got to the bridge Sasuke wasn't there yet, which was odd, considering the black haired boy usually got there first. He had his arms crossed and was frowning and leaning against the bridge rail. Nothing unusual there.

An hour or so later, the silver haired jounin arrived in a poof. Naruto and Sakura did shout that he was late to his face, but rather half-heartedly, as they were too concerned about Weasel. Kakashi, noticing this, inquired upon their lack of enthusiasm.

Sakura spoke up this time. "Weasel has gone missing! Neither Naruto nor I couldn't find him anywhere! Have you seen him around, Kakashi-sensei?" She asked, her and Naruto's eyes filled with concern. Kakashi looked at Sasuke out of the corner of his eye, and Sasuke seemed to be purposefully ignoring him. Turning back to the two more social members of his team, Kakashi shook his head.

"I'm sorry, I don't. But...I do think Sasuke knows where he is. Don't you, Sasuke?" He asked, staring straight on at the Uchiha. Sasuke glared at the older man, but didn't deny anything. Sakura and Naruto turned to him hopefully. Sakura spoke up.

"You know where Weasel-kun is, Sasuke-kun? Really?" She asked, hope filled in her voice.

Sasuke mumbled something inaudible. Kakashi smirked.

"What was that, bastard?" Naruto asked his best friend, eyes narrowing a bit in confusion. Sakura still looked hopeful. Kakashi added, "go on, Sasuke, tell them." Sasuke glared at him more, then sighed in aggravation.

"Fine. I killed the creature." He admitted, not looking guilty at what he'd done. Sakura and Naruto widened their eyes as wide as they could go.

"WHAT?!" Naruto shouted, Sasuke being unaffected. Sakura seemed to be in shock.

"But...you didn't _really_ kill my pet, did you, Sasuke-kun? You wouldn't do something that horrible! ...Would you?" She asked, pleading him. Sasuke didn't say anything, and both teens took that as a yes.

"Why would you do something like that, bastard?! You're an even bigger bastard that I thought!" Naruto shouted again, glaring at the Uchiha. Sasuke merely turned his head away.

"I have my reasons." He said, before heading out to the training grounds. Kakashi smiled sadly at the two shocked and outraged children in front of him.

"I'm very sorry, and Sasuke does have a reasonable explanation, but I'm not at liberty to explain it. That's his job. You two can go home and mourn, I'll spar with Sasuke. It's alright." He helpfully explained, before following Sasuke out to the area, face buried in his book. Sakura and Naruto were left on their own, looking at the wooden planks that made up the bridge, lost in thought.

Naruto was the first to make a move. "Well, I'll be heading home, then. Are you gonna have a funeral for him?" He asked the girl without looking at her. Sakura didn't do anything to indicate yes or no.

"I'm not sure. I'll...I'll talk to you about it later, Naruto. Bye..." She trailed off, heading back to her house. Naruto sighed, before going back to his home as well.

A few hours later, Naruto left his home and headed in a direction he had only gone a couple times before. His facial expression darkened as he walked, until he looked quite uncharacteristically pissed. Turning a corner sharply, people walking past him in the streets cringed away in fear. It almost seemed as if a dark storm cloud was following the usually cheerful blond.

Reaching his desired point, he stormed down the abandoned streets up to the center of the compound, to the largest house. Stopping in front of the door, he knocked. Harshly.

Steps could be heard from inside, then the door slowly opened. Sasuke appeared in the doorway, sneering as usual.

"What do you want, dobe? I said I had to go." He said, glaring, but not as much as Naruto. He was a tad surprised to see Naruto looking like this, but he wasn't scared.

Uchiha's didn't _get_ scared, after all.

"What the hell, Sasuke?! Why did you really kill Weasel?! Even a bastard like you has to have a reason for doing something like that!" Naruto shouted, flailing his arms. Sasuke, for the first time in his life, was glad that the Uchiha compound was empty.

Sasuke didn't respond at first, but a small, satisfied smile crossed his features. "It had to be done," he said, sounding almost...proud.

Naruto was at a loss for words. "Why?!" He shouted again, but a twinge of utter confusion could be heard in his voice.

"I'm not at liberty to tell you," Sasuke replied, smugly. He was still smirking proudly, like he had just won something or other. Naruto was hopelessly confused.

"But...but...ah, screw you." Naruto said in defeat, going back to glaring fiercely at the Uchiha. Said Uchiha smirked in triumph, stepped back from the doorway, and shut the door.

"I'll never understand that freak..." Naruto muttered to himself, walking out of the near empty section of the village.

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.::Owari!::.

For those who don't know, in Japanese the word for weasel is Itachi. Heheh, poor Sasuke. But he did get his revenge! Yay!


End file.
